The Dublin Doctor’s Assistant

A DOCTOR in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant. “Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients.”

“Yes, sir!” answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks, “So, Murphy, how was your day?”

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”

“Bravo, Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did, sir,” says Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this, and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous 
woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her panties, and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts, ‘Help me for the love of St Patrick! 
For five years I have not seen any man!’”

“Tunderin’ lard Jesus, Murphy, what did you do?” asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes I did.”