How I got Divorced

LAST WEEK was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. 

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
 “Happy Birthday!”, and possibly have a small present for me.

 As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone Happy Birthday.



I thought, “Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids, they will remember.”


My kids came bouncing down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word, so when I left for the factory, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked to my forklift, my sexy little co-worker, Debbie, said, “Good morning, Chuck, and by the way, Happy Birthday!”

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock, when Debbie came over to my area and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.”


I said, “Thanks, Debbie, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”

We went to lunch. But we didn’t go to the local boozer where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two bourbons each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.


On the way back to the factory, Debbie said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day, we don’t need to go straight back to work, do we?”


I responded, “I s’pose not. What do you have in mind?”

She said, “Let’s drop by my place. It’s just around the corner.”


After arriving at her house, Debbie turned to me and said, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” I nervously replied.


She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there, on the couch, naked…